'Fear & Loathing' indeed

The great thing about being a conservative three days after a decisive national election is that there is really no need to gloat. Just sit back, sip on the beverage of your choice (in our case, unsweetened ice tea) and watch the brain cells of the left melt down from Synaptic Incongruence Overload (SIO). (Of course it's a real disease. You can look it up if you want.)

But never let it be said that we are not compassionate conservatives. We are here to give a SIO relief.

Heh.

Actually things are back to normal and it didn't take long. The left has determined that 24 hours was quite enough time for any kind of conciliatory talk. Now the finger-pointing, the wild accusations and the recriminations begin in earnest.

Exhiliarating, isn't it? (Think of the Dems own "genesis effect" in full reversal.)

Michael Moore has published "17 Reasons not to slit your wrists," including a prediction that President Bush will be impeached for as yet uncommitted crimes against the Constitution. We're sure the Fat One already has footage in preparation for the multi-media exhibit before the House.

The online magazine Slate published a screed by authoress Jane Smiley on "The Unteachable Ignorance of the Red States." It's a must read. Do it with somone you love so that you can be revived if you get choked up with laughter. It's a scream.

Various pundits are clamoring for the victorious Republicans to "grasp this opportunity" to water down their conservatism as a show of good faith in "unity" and "inclusion." (Only a like-minded liberal could explain the illogic of that request. Or perhaps the best way to explain it would be in the words of Ulysses Everett McGill, "Only a fool looks for logic in the recesses of the human heart.")

Hunter S. Thompson, the aging gonzo journalist who gave us "Fear & Loathing on the Campaign Trail" back in 1972, was a Kerry supporter who watched the election returns from his Pitkin County home near Aspen. His take:

"I feel like somebody's died," Thompson lamented as the sun was preparing to rise early Wednesday morning. "I'm just not sure who it was."

Perhaps America was not too sure who John Kerry was either. Thompson deemed the election "another failure of the youth vote."

"Yeah, we rocked the vote all right. Those little bastards betrayed us again."

Kerry Won! No really, this article has it down in black-and-white. Minority voters aren't smart enough to mark their ballots properly, thus they are declared spoiled. The Dem Party isn't macho enough to make an issue of it. And so John Kerry, the heir apparent and rightful president, goes down in flames. (By the way, the author of this article on the liberal site "Thomas Paine: Common Sense" used to write for the UK Guardian. 'Nuff said?)

Related story, breaking news Friday afternoon: Bush's New Mexico win still a hot issue:

Santa Fe, NM, Nov. 5 (UPI) -- Republicans are charging Gov. Bill Richardson is still trying to find more votes for Democratic Sen. John Kerry in New Mexico. Greg Graves, executive director of the New Mexico Republican Party, said (Gov. Bill) Richardson is conspiring to steal electoral votes from President Bush, who won the state's five votes, the Santa Fe New Mexican reported Friday. Graves said he was concerned the Democratic county clerk in Las Cruces initially refused to allow observers to watch her staff verify provisional ballots. These voters' qualifications must be verified
before the votes are counted

Careful Mr. Bill. Karl Rove might decide to build a Florida-like Get Out the Vote machine in New Mexico for 2008..

The "He wouldn't have voted for Dubya anyway" Dept.:

Phil Pullman, described as a "child's fantasy author" and whose books have been condemned by church groups "for attacking organized religion" says that George Bush would make a good movie villain

."Bush has this baying certainty and has imposed this fervent zealotry," said Pullman whose books have been condemned by church groups for attacking organized religion.

"The Christian right in America is the mirror image of the Islamic fundamentalists," he added.

Less funny -- pathetic really -- was the reaction of Little Sid Blumenthal, writing in the UK Guardian (yeah, the same outfit that engendered the Clarke County letter-writing campaign backlash). Sidney's response embodies every lefty paranoic's fantasy:

Using the White House as a machine of centripetal force, Rove spread fear and fused its elements. Fear of the besieging terrorist, appearing in Bush TV ads as the shifty eyes of a swarthy man or a pack of wolves, was joined with fear of the besieging queer. Bush's support for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was underscored by referendums against it in 11 states - all of which won.

"Fear of the besieging queer"?You gotta be kidding.

The evangelical churches became instruments of political organisation. Ideology was enforced as theology, turning nonconformity into sin, and the faithful, following voter guides with biblical literalism, were shepherded to the polls as though to the rapture.

Sidney displays a common ignorance of shepherds. They do not drive sheep, they walk ahead and the sheep follow, because a good shepherd is worthy of trust. But nevermind ...

Brought along with Bush is a gallery of grotesques in the Senate: more than one new senator advocates capital punishment for abortion; another urges that all gay teachers be fired; yet another is suffering from obvious symptoms of Alzheimer's.

First, which new senator advocates capital punishment for abortion? C'mon Sidney, give us the name, the exact quote, the date and time. Second, which new senator suffers from Alzheimers? (And assuming one did, would it be fair to discriminate against him on the basis of a physical handicap? We thought you liberals were against such practices.)

And we feared there might be nothing to write about after the election.