A Letter to Our Dear Friends Up North

Dear Canada:

We do not want your stinking Northwest Passage.

If we did want it, we would have annexed it by now and there's little you could've done except raise a brewski and toast your good fortune.

So relax. Kick back with another cool one as you wait another three months for your appointment with the dentist on your government-run health care system. The beer will help numb the pain of that infected molar.

That is all.