Epidemic of Sloth

Today I introduce to you the Oklahomilist SKI Theory, which endeavors to measure at any given moment the slothfulness of society. And I regret to inform you that we are approaching an Indolence Crisis Point.

SKI stands for Shopping Kart Indicator. (Yes, I know that cart is usually spelled with a "c" but it ruins the acronym.)

The shopping cart is an Oklahoma native, born in 1937 as the brain-child of Sylvan Goldman and a mechanic friend named Fred. Goldman was a grocer, with a brother about half-owner in the Standard-Piggly Wiggly chain of supermarkets. The impetus behind the invention was simple: how could customers carry more stuff so that they would buy more stuff. Reportedly the shopping cart got off to a slow start: men thought they were effeminate, some women considered them an insult, too much like a baby carriage

Young men thought they would appear weak; young women felt the carts were unfashionable; and older people didn’t want to appear helpless. So, Goldman hired models of all ages and both sexes to push the things around the store, pretending they were shopping. That, and an attractive store greeter encouraging use of the carts, did the trick.

What happened to the attractive store greeter?

Today the shopping cart, though called by various names, is worldwide. I found it interesting to learn that in some countries (and in Aldi stores) you are required to put up a deposit on your cart so that you will return it. Apparently that concept was either not tried in the U.S. or it was tried and failed. (Perhaps the Aldi experiment will succeed.) Most moderns will agree that the shopping cart is a real labor saving device. Even those of us who consider ourselves "real men" have long gotten over our aversion to the cart. In point of fact, when shopping with the missus, we prefer to drive, don't we?

My Shopping Kart Indicator theory, however, has nothing to do with making purchases or who does or doesn't drive the cart. It refers to the real or perceived inability of shoppers to return the damn things to the cart corrals when they are finished using them. Apparently it is too much trouble for what I fear is a majority of shoppers to push them any farther than to their car, SUV or dual-wheeled pickup truck. What we have, in store lot after store lot, is a residue of carts about which newly-arriving motorists must negotiate, discovering that choice non-handicapped zone parking spaces are unusable because one or more lazy (and possibly illegitimate) shoppers had no energy left after unloading their purchases. Further, one occasionally discovers, upon leaving the store with one's shopping cart, that someone has discarded theirs directly behind your vehicle. With luck you discover this before you attempt to back out.

I have also witnessed rogue shopping carts that have been given a playful nudge by a fun-loving departing motorist, zooming across parking lots only to collide with a nice parked vehicle. (I suspect that several of the "dings" in the side of my car were created in this manner.)

For the love of God and neighbor, dear people, since when have we become so boorishly lazy and inconsiderate?

There was a time when there were no cart corrals and customers were actually expected to return them to the store itself. Even then there was not this much cart chaos! Corrals were added, and then even more, and even extra employees at several stores (you know which they are) who are constantly regathering the abandoned carts, and yet the sloth grows.

I once hypothesized that urban dwellers would be worse than those in small towns. I have tossed that one overboard. In the small town nearest me the problem is epidemic. I often am tempted to shout at the brazen offenders in the car next to mine: "Just how much effort does it take to put your shopping cart in the corral 15 feet away?!!!" But I fear that will only create a breach of the peace without actually changing minds or hearts. I have recently taken to gathering up three, four or five loose shopping carts and pushing them into the nearest corral, hoping to inspire similar acts of good citizenship, but I am afraid that those who see me merely assume that I have forgotten to wear my Wal Mart lanyard, and thus I am only encouraging their shiftlessness.

Realizing that anyone who reads this blog probably isn't afraid of a little extra effort - else how would you have found it in the first place - I would simply ask that you encourage others, your spouse perhaps, to consider "being considerate" and returning the shopping carts to store or corral.

Else I may totally lose it one of these days, and it will make an embarrassing item on the 6 o'clock local news.